Something Worth Waiting For

Tuesday, November 23, 2021

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Growing up I was always told the same few things about dating and marriage.

“Wait for the man who brings you flowers home!”

“Wait for the man who always holds the door open for you.”

“Wait for the man who buys you jewelry just because!”

I was never told to wait for the man who did things for me in silence. The things that almost go unnoticed because they weren’t fancy, expensive, or done in front of others.

Sitting on this, I think back to a day when I was battling some emotions that I was unsure of how to express. So many small things had piled up that day and I was standing in my living room when it all of a sudden just hit me.

It started so fast and spread like a wild fire.

The heavy breathing.

The feeling of being crowded.

The sweaty hands.

The knot in my stomach.

My boyfriend noticed and immediately grabbed my hand and led me to the floor.

I focused on the feeling of his jacket against my face.

The smell of his cologne he's worn for the past 3 years.

The soft hand that my sweaty hands were clinging on.

“Just breathe, babe, I got you..." he says, as he can feel me still trembling under him.

As we sit there for a moment, I feel a small sense of relief wash over me.

I always feel safer when i'm wrapped up; human nature I suppose. That comfort.

But I’m not ready to get off the floor yet.

I don’t want to move.

I need a moment to just sink into his jacket. and gather myself.

Without saying anything, he just slowly starts rocking me. back and forth. gently stroking my hair.

In silence.

We sat there for about fifteen minutes until he let go of my hand and said “are you ready to get up now?"

He knew exactly what I needed in that moment.

To just sit, and to just be.

In that moment, I thought back to when I was always told to wait for the man who would bring me flowers, hold the door open, and all of those typical things.

But the man I’m so grateful I waited for, is the man who does things in silence.

The man who sits with me in the middle of the floor, not uttering a single word.

The man who sits with me in silence, while I go through the trenches of what are sometimes, overwhelming feelings.

Because honestly, my boyfriend isn’t one to bring me flowers often.

He isn’t one to buy me jewelry randomly.

But he is one to sit with me in my lowest moment, and simply just be there with me.

And I think that right there, that’s something really worth waiting for.